I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
