Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
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