i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
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