Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
