Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
