i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
