You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Randomize
