Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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