when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
