I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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