are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Randomize
