Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I look excited, but its just a facade.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize