i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
