I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
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