BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
