LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
