I hate your face
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
