There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
