Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
