Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
