Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
