just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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