What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
