If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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