We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
