The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
You need a sexual gate keeper
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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