Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
And then the night went full on bisexual.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
