It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Randomize
