YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
