Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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