drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
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