My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
