Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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