Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I need to align my fucking chakras
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize