Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Randomize
