just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Randomize
