alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
