ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
