I just pynch a tree in the face
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
