i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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