have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
