Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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