They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
