OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Randomize
