Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Randomize
