I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
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