i already hear my dad disowning me
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
