Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage