Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
