3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
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