this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
