Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
