We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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