I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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