im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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