My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
